Strip Poker gone Wrong
by NizumiIsACookie0.0
Summary: I was bored and so I wanted to join the nice guys in playing Poker. But I tell you, it's not easy with a fish which you hate  and vice versa , an Uchiha dick, a Jashinist and a money-horny man.


**Author's Note: **I wrote this once out of fun, published it here, then deleted, edited and published it again. o-o

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><p><strong>Strip Poker gone Wrong<strong>

It was a normal Akatsuki day. It was boring and no mission was ahead. I must admit, I was bored, and so I decided to search up a dear friend. He was currently playing Poker with a few lovely Akatsuki members as I stepped beside him. "Itachi...?" As he didn't react, I raised my voice. "Itachi...?" Assuming that he was ignoring me like usually, I started to glare. "It-" Suddenly he faced me, causing my face to turn into an unexpected expression. I sucked my lips in.

"I told you, I am not interested into playing 'Save the Watercreatures'," he told me directly in a slight annoyed tone.

With a crooked smile I glanced at Kisame who was glaring at me. Not caring, I turned back to Itachi. "Aw, come on!"

"Why the hell don't you just join us, Yakky*?" Hidan threw in.

Lazily I looked at the poker cards which were spread all over the table. "Nah-"

"No," Kakuzu commanded. "She can only play with if she's got money!" I sweatdropped, looking at the money-horny guy. "No."

"Hell, I didn't even want to play," I shouted back at him. In that moment Kakuzu collected the cards, starting a new round. Bored as I was I was watching them with a sprinkle of interest, until I realized something. "Eh... guys...?" Blending me out, they continued to play. "Stop ignoring me!" Emotionless, Itachi looked up to blink at me, telling me with his marvelous expression that I was superfluous.

"No, thanks," Kisame said. Glaring, I crossed my arms.

As they continued to play, rage got hold of me, making me scream, "Fine! I'm in!" Angrily I pulled up a chair and sat down. "Handle me the damn cards," I demanded, reaching out my opened palm. From the corner of my eyes, I could see Hidan's perverted smirk grow.

Kakuzu, on the other side of the table, stayed the same. "No!"

"Aw, come on," I complained loudly.

"Show me your cash." I glanced at Itachi, seeking for help which I didn't receive. "Told you!"

"What-the-hell-ever," I rattled out. "I am playing with. I don't give a damn! Whether you like it or not."

Calmly he asked, "What do you want to pay with, then?"

"I can lend me some money from you guys," I suggested, but Hidan suddenly smirked widely. Suspiciously, I narrowed my eyes at him.

"What?" Kisame asked, facing him.

"I know what she can pay with." Carefully I let my glance wander in the round, recognizing Itachi raising his eyebrows lightly with a hint of interest before my eyes fell back on Hidan. But as usually, I didn't have a good feeling. I am the loser of all games and life.

"Her fucking body," he said with _that_ smirk not leaving his lips. My jaw dropped and my eyes widened in disbelief.

"My _what_?"

Relaxed Hidan leaned back in his chair. "Either you take my idea or you're fucking out, Ai-chan*!" I glared at him in protest.

"Damn you!"

As sweet as he was, he gifted me with a dirty smirk. "Love to see you fucking naked."

"Too bad this will never happen."

Purposely, he then rolled over my words, selecting the cards again. "We are playing the damn strip poker now."

I crossed my arms. "Yea... I know."

"And you have to agree that we can take pictures," Kakuzu said.

"What the Fuck- No," I shrieked in his face, jumping lightly in my chair.

"You're out, Yakkaina."

"You can't do that!"

"Pictures?" reproachfully he asked. He held my look firmly while he waited for my answer to come.

Angrily, I glared. "Alright. Fine!" Smirking lightly, Kakuzu got his camera from under the table. "Bitch," I muttered under my breath.

"Why do you have to play with, Yakkaina?" The blue fish asked irritated. We never got along well.

But before I could answer, Hidan was nice and answered for me, "Because she is going to fucking strip, duh!" Just that I wouldn't have formed my answer like this. Kisame sweatdropped while Itachi's mask allowed a small smirk to _almost_ break it through to the front.

Remonstrating, I crossed my arms. "I will not strip. Get that into your fucking heads!"

"We'll see." I was assuming that Hidan loved strippers, and I was considering to call one for him to his birthday. At least then he would leave me alone. "And with that I mean," he went on, "we'll see your damn bare body." I was actually calm - for that one second - but his words cast a spell upon me, making me get up and punch him in the face. He would have fallen over if he wouldn't have held on to the table. I smirked at him. In return he glared at me. "Damn, fucked bitch of hell...!" At least I got something in return.

"Aw," I played innocent with the sweet lies off chocolate splashing around me. "Don't be that nice, Hidan. You know I love you too." The purple in his eyes tried to hit me, but then a devious smirk colored his lips.

"Love to see you lose." My chocolate lake disappeared, and I sat back down on my seat.

"Love to see _you_ strip!"

"Gosh," the blue face interrupted our cute discussion. "Now stop fighting and join!"

As innocent as I was, I closed my eyes. "I didn't fight at all. I never fight. I am nice, very nice."

Kisame raised an eyebrow at me, and he obviously didn't trust me. "And I am-"

"-A bird?" I cut him short, smiling brightly. Hard I tried to keep my laughter down.

"What the fuck has that to do with a bird?" I had reached my goal and poked him a little bit too rough. "I am not a damn bird!"

"See? Because you're not," I said as the genius who I was, "that means you are a water creature. Which means you are wrong." Confused he blinked with the little eyes that he had. It looked rather funny, but I swallowed my laughter.

"Are you all ready?" Kakuzu asked as he had set the cards on their rightful spots, ready to be played with excitement. Kisame and I faced our cash-man, then the cards, and afterward Itachi and Hidan.

"Yea," Kisame answered for the both of us.

Picking up his cards, Itachi said, "Let's play, then."

In a sugar-rush I grabbed my cards, yelling, "Hell, yea!" Hidan, Kakuzu and Kisame looked a little bit worried. Yet Itachi stayed the master Itachi.

"Quit the yelling," he said calmly.

"No," I shouted again, but as Itachi then didn't react, I was wondering if he had heard it. So I decided to lean towards his ear, taking a deep, deep breath and repeat my _no_. But instead I found myself crash into the wall with my back within the blink of an eye, and a loud crash from a chair. Itachi was holding me up on my throat, and I was gasping for air. Behind his back I could see a few cards fly to the floor, and my chair and his lay down, too. "I... tach... i..." His expression remained the same. I gasped again, trying to inhale some air into my lungs. "L... et... go..."

"You have to play ordinary," he taunted me.

"Ordinary?" Hidan laughed offensively. "Who the damned hell plays poker fucking ordinary?"

"Strip poker," Kakuzu corrected his partner. Kisame looked from the two back to Itachi and me - as far as I could recognize it.

With the strength that I managed to summon, I held on to the Uchiha's arm which held me up. I was trying to struggle and rip it off - without success. In place of letting go, he leaned in, giving me a slight, crooked smile which implied for me to give in and agree to play to his conditions. Yet I opened one of my eyes, looking into his red Sharingan eyes. "... Fu... ck... you..." And I felt his grip tightening. I gritted my teeth and clenched my jaw under his strong pressure. "... Suck... e... r..."

"Oi, calm down, Itachi," Kisame attempted to smooth him as he tightened his grip some more. I was starting to see little stars as I heard Kakuzu speak.

"She won't be able to strip."

"Damn, yea," Hidan agreed. "Put her fucking down!"

"You will only kill her," Kisame's voice was louder this time. It was funny to think that the one who I disliked the most would try to help me the most.

I stopped struggling as Itachi still had not given up on me. I could see through squinted eyes that Itachi was looking at me with an expression that I couldn't identify. For a few seconds time stood still until I felt my butt making abrupt contact with the floor with a loud _thump_. Inhaling all the air that I needed to survive, I gasped loudly and fitfully. While I still saw little stars floating in the room, I heard Kisame grump about something, and the black-red cloak walking back to his seat.

"Duh," Hidan left his comment to Itachi's action, even though, it was nothing new for two people to start a fight in this organization. And Hidan was more likely to be one of those troublemakers.

Then, as little pink and yellow stars were fading, I found three grown men looking down on me from their seats. Hidan, Kakuzu, and Kisame, that is, as far as my blurred sight gave me the allowance. I wanted to curse the wretched Uchiha, however, I was not recovered yet.

He didn't even turn around. "Are we playing?" I heard him ask serenely.

From me, Kisame looked at Itachi. "Yes... ." Then back to me.

Not taking his eyes off me, Hidan asked with a smirk, "Ready to strip, Yakky-chan?"

"Damn," I gasped, "you, ... Itachi. In hell... I... am... going to... play or... strip...!" My voice was raspy - to my own surprise.

Taking this as a compliment, Hidan responded, "We are the Akatsuki; welcome to hell!"

I glared at him and wished him dead as I weakly got up, holding on to the wall as support. As soon as I stood, I made my way out.

"Where do you think you're going?" a not worried money-greedy voice asked.

"To Sasori," I replied plainly. Sasori was calm and would not do hurt me like this.

"Get fucking back here," Hidan commanded. "You've got to strip!"

"Strip yourself!" My voice was slightly getting back to normal.

Just as I went out of the room, Deidara passed me, walking in. I continued to walk towards Sasori's room, then heard Deidara ask, "What happened to Ya-chan, un?"

I heard a deep growl and I supposed it was Kakuzu. "Ask him." And I assumed he meant Itachi. I bet he was smirking, that ass! He could have said sorry at least!

"Why did she hold on to her throat, yea?" I heard Deidara ask as I stopped for a while, still holding on to the wall.

"Damn," Hidan's annoyed, plus disappointed voice joined the conversation. "She wanted to play poker with us-" I faded myself out. I didn't need a recap of what just happened. Itachi always had thought that he was the best out of all. Oh, Itachi the untouchable man with sexy, black hair and mesmerizing eyes. "Itachi doomed it all. Fucking great. Really, shitty awesome," Hidan ended the little story. Mentally, I agreed.

"Don't blame him," Kisame defended his partner. First he wanted to help me and now he was back to stick to his partner?

"Still the little maid?" Hidan asked. You go, Hidan!

"I'll show you-" Kisame's words disappeared; Itachi probably held him back.

"Let's play." I growled lightly at his voice. That asshole!

"Let's play," I mocked him quietly. "I am Itachi, I am so gorgeous and a retard."

"Oi," Deidara came loudly into play as I continued to walk on. "What about me playing with, un?"

Slowly the voices started to fade. "Going to strip?"

"No, un!"

"Your hair will look damn irresistible while stripping."

"I will not strip, un!" And with these words I left the sounds of arguing behind.

What seemed to take me forever, I finally reached Sasori's room. His door was closed, and so I knocked. "Sasori?" I knocked again. "Are you in?" But his room remained silent. Gently I rubbed my throat one more time, then I let go to carefully open his door. "Sasori...?" I peeked in, but his room was empty from moving puppets. "Mh, damn-"

"What are you doing in my room?" a cold and yet familiar voice asked right in my back. His sudden appearance made me spin around and bump with my back into his door. "Ouch!" Ahh, it hurts! Itachi already had scrubbed my back open!

"What is your desire?" Not caring much about my back, he walked into his room. I watched him. "I don't have the time for eternity, Yakkaina, hurry up and tell."

I only stood there and watched him a little longer, then I sighed, closed the door and went over to Deidara's bed since they were sharing a room together, and I was glad that Deidara was out to play. Sasori, however, was not surprised by my actions. "Can I just stay with you?"

The pretty red-head took one of his puppets. I guessed to check on them, but he did that really often. He replied with a simple, "Sure." I smiled lightly at him before I laid down on Deidara's bed on my tum. Sasori continued to deal with his puppet while I just watched him doing so.

After a while though, I broke the silence. "Um... Sasori?" He didn't look up, but jerked his head slightly to tell me that he listened. "I... can I talk to you?"

He looked up. "You already are." I sweatdropped with my eyes widening. He smiled lightly, then turned back to his puppet. "You can talk about everything you want, Yakkaina."

"Yea... ." I smiled softly. "I know."

"So, what is it?"

I was slightly confused. "What...?"

"You wanted to talk."

I opened my mouth. "... Right." To comfort myself I grabbed Deidara's pillow and hugged it tightly, and I felt my face blushing. "Look. Why... why does everybody want me to strip?"

I glanced at him to see him smirk, then he said, "That's not what you wanted to talk about, Yakkaina. Spill it."

Nervously I hugged the pillow tighter. Sasori was my best friend and I could talk to him about anything. Even if he was cold, he still cared for me, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here and he wouldn't waste his time talking to me. I sat up straight to release some tension. It's never been easy for me to talk about such topics. "Fine, look..."

"Again?"

"Huh?"

"Nothing."

"Fine, then. Look..." I think I saw some amusement on his face, I though continued to talk, "Itachi-"

"Ah... ." Before I could even tell a story he knew what story was to come. He couldn't read minds, but he just knew me too well.

"What 'ah'?"

"I think we all know that." I felt my blush growing.

"Know what?"

He faced me. "You like him."

"I've never said so, Sasori," I tried to deny what I didn't even know.

"But your cheeks do," he said, his voice soft. I stared at him with the heat in my body raising. "You're sometimes really noisy though."

Avoiding his eyes, I murmured, "It's the sugar...!"

"I enjoy you in every state that you are in, but I enjoy the times more when you are shut." Hoping to find any compliments, I glanced at him. "Or when you are o-"

"Don't say _ordinary_," I yelled, quickly interrupting him. I didn't want to hear that word on more time!

He smirked. "I wanted to say _olright_." I sweatdropped.

"No, you wanted to say ordianry. Just admit it, Sasori."

"Where's the problem?" he asked.

I took a breath. I've tried to evade it, so hard. "Alright, look... Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, and Itachi played poker. First off, I didn't want to play. Then, I wanted to, but the damned one told me I firstly have to agree to play strip poker with them. I agreed. I got all, you know, I acted 'ordinary' in my way, I also had a bit of chocolate, and I grabbed the fucking cards. Itachi told me to 'quit the yelling', but I didn't. So I just wanted to annoy him on purpose, which turned out to be bad for me. Because then my back was pushed up against the wall and he was about to kill me by holding me up on my throat." Again I inhaled deeply, making up all the air that I had let out during my little story recap. "The end." As Sasori then didn't say anything to my little poker drama, I got impatient, and started to play with the fabric of Deidara's pillow. "Please tell me what you're thinking," I cried out, desperately wanting to hear his opinion on this.

"That's exactly what I meant."

Glancing to the floor, I muttered into myself, "But that's just the way I am... ."

"I know that." Surprised that he had heard my mumbling, I shot my head up to see him smile at me. "That's also the way I like you." I returned his smile. I like you too, Sasori. "And I am sure Itachi does as well."

"Shut up, Sasori!" He then only chuckled, and turned back to his puppet which he was working on. I was wondering if he really meant it or if he was teasing me.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> *Yak, or Yakky, or Ai, these are all nicknames, of what the members call her sometimes. Her whole name is Yakkaina, meaning "troublesome".


End file.
